The Journey of a Young Mom Without A Village

Growing up, I’d always hear my elders say the old African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child." But what happens when you don't have that village? What happens when you're navigating motherhood alone?

A Solitary Journey into Motherhood

I became a mother at 19, and like many young moms, I found myself without the traditional support system that many mothers my age have. There were no grandparents to babysit, no aunts and uncles to offer advice, no older siblings to lend a helping hand. It was just me, my fiancé, my baby, and a world that seemed to be moving at a pace I couldn't keep up with.

The Initial Struggles of Solo Motherhood

The first few months were the hardest. I was learning how to be a mom while also trying to maintain my own identity. I was juggling diapers, feedings, and sleepless nights with a full-time job and a social life that quickly became nonexistent.

The Craving for Support and the Onset of Postpartum Depression

There were times when I felt overwhelmed, isolated, and utterly alone. Which led to postpartum depression. I yearned for the village that I didn't have, for the support and guidance that seemed to be a given for other moms. I wanted so desperately for the friends and family who promised they’d be there to support to do that. But as time went on, I realized that while I didn't have a village in the traditional sense, I was far from alone.

Unexpected Sources of Support

I found support in unexpected places. Co-workers who were also young moms became my lifeline, understanding my struggles in a way that no one else could. Employers were surprisingly understanding and accommodating, offering flexibility when I needed it most. And my partner was always right there, ready to offer advice or simply listen when I needed to vent. His shoulders have felt so many tears.

Empowering Discoveries Within Myself

I also found strength within myself. I learned to trust my gut, to make decisions based on what I felt was best for my family. I learned to ask for help when I needed it, even though I rarely received it. Despite being overwhelmed and overstimulated. I’ve always had to just suck it up and keep going. Because I made the decision to have children, so I must have it all figured out right? Wrong.

The Strain on Romantic Relationships

So while I’m not completely alone and I have my fiancé, not having a village puts such a strain on our romantic relationship. Here is an example. Our oldest is three, and since she’s been born I can count on two hands how many date nights we’ve had. That is over three years with an average of six date nights. Two a year. Sadly, that has been our reality.

The Challenges and Rewards of Being a Young Mom

Being a young mom is undoubtedly challenging. But it's also the best job I’ve ever had. It forces you to change, to take charge, and to become the best mom and individual you can be. It teaches you patience, determination, and the true meaning of unconditional love.

And at the end of a very rough and overwhelming day, when you look into your child's eyes, you'll know that every struggle, every mess, and every sleepless night was worth it. Because you're not just a young mom. You're a good mom, an inspiration, and the center of your child's world. And that’s the goal. To be the best you can be in their eyes.